“Family is the culmination of every single blood vessel pumping life, the expansion of breath our universe dares to take each new-born second.” -La Espiritista, S.E.A.
When I reflect on change, family comes into my mind, body, soul, and spirit. Family is the foundation for the most transformative of journeys. Family are the people who stand beside you. They are the people who respect the space one needs as they make the choice of going into their cocoons, before they emerge.
I am a firm believer that every person can transform. That there is light where there is dark, and that every binary meets its opposite when reversed inward.
In that sense, family is chosen, but it also is not. It isn’t an either/or scenario, rather a yes/both one. Family can be both the people in one’s life that they are born into, and the one’s they choose or have chosen along the way.
Family can be big and small, and they can shift from normative to queer. They can be full of robust laughter and be deathly grave.
The card I drew for the week is “Family Changes” from my Butterfly deck.
As much as we would love for things to stay the same at times, change is constant. Change can be seen in the form of transition, a member in the family is born into the world, or one dies and transitions into the next world. We celebrate, or we mourn, we honor, or we grieve. We sometimes do both simultaneously.
Certain occurrences can change the function of how the family operates for days, weeks, years, decades, sometimes generations at a time. One deep lesson to learn about “Family Changes” is to become aware of what is in your control and what is not when it comes to family. It is about learning how to be an individual within the unit. It is about learning the impermanence of life and learning to let go with grace and forgiveness. It is learning to be at the edge of the cliff with unwavering faith and trust that all will surrender to its highest good.
Another lesson the card “Family Changes” brings is on the whole topic of how family is viewed in the world. In many indigenous cultures and ancestral traditions, a family was contained within the entire village. Children didn’t just have their biological parents to share their care, but many adults and elders to contribute themselves as care-giver roles. When colonization occurred, the idea of family became more limited. However, this is increasingly shifting again as more people transform and are expressing their deepest and truest selves.
Families are changing and in the first time in history we can legally see two men married, two women married with children, two men married and there can be a mom in the picture.
Family can be 4 people in a committed partnership, or it can be 3 people committed to each other and raising children.
However, again family isn’t limited to marriage, nor is it only about the individuals who comprise a unit. It is so much bigger than that. It is ultimately about higher love.