In the beginning there is always a door.

This door is the medium between all realities. It is the point where every intersection which has ever existed meets. This door represents knowledge beyond what we contain, a potential greater than what we have ever known. It is the bridge between the here and now, and what can be. It is the crossroads we are continuously coming across which pushes us to choose a direction.

If we think of it in this sense, this door transcends time, taking us back to moments in our personal and collective pasts, or perhaps moments in the future.

It is important to approach the door with respect, that we ask for permission for it to be unlocked, and consent to enter. There are so many doors that it can become confusing on which ones are for us. As human beings, we can often allow many distractions obstruct our path. We fall into a comparison game, let our ego get the best of us, allow our jealousy to swallow us entirely.

Every person is a door. Every encounter is a door. Every moment there are doors.

The guidance granted on this healing journey is one that we must show our heartfelt gratitude for because without the keyholder, we would literally be walking into situations which we have no business in at a magnitude we could not keep up with. This saves us a great amount of time and energy on this physical plane. We are able to decipher more efficiently what and who is meant for us and how they are meant to be in our lives. We can more accurately assess if a certain situation aligns with our truth. We are given the best tools to set the appropriate boundaries we may need and to deal with the guilt and shame which may arise in the process.

After the right door is unlocked for us, the next critical aspect is how we approach it, and how we walk through it.

We must walk through before we can reach the other side. Although we make the choice of walking through we do not have the power to decide what comes after that. We do not have control of what ultimately lies on the other side of this door, but we can trust and have faith that it is the one which is best for us, or it would have not been unlocked.

This does not mean that we won’t confront any challenges. Every door which birth’s our joy means we must first walk though our grief. The death of our grief brings back our joy. It is through our grief, where we can reconnect ourselves with the original source we may have lost at sea once again. We can begin reclaiming those fragmented pieces of ourselves and call them back home. We need both grief and joy. It is not an “or” concept, but rather an “and.” This work is about healing the divide within ourselves and becoming whole.

When I began my medical transformation journey from an assigned female at birth person to fluidity and two-spiritedness, I honed into the power of trust which is inexplicably tied to spirit.

For me, the beginning of my physical transformation was also my spiritual reawakening. There was so much uncertainty and the questions I sought answers for only brought more questions (To be honest they still do).  I didn’t know exactly what would come out on the other side, but now looking back I am proud I made the decision to walk through that door. Only it is important to know that once any form of step is taken to uncertainty, the story doesn’t end there. It is a continuous process much like relationship. We must work at cultivating our relationship to trust, which has its origins in spirit.

Physicality is only half of our reality with spirituality being the other half of ourselves. Without our spirit, we are not complete.

To trust means we must surrender. We must get ourselves to this place of stillness where we can finally hear the smallest timid voice of ourselves. This voice which is often muffled out has a lot of wisdom to share, but we bury it down because it can be hard to hear. Although this voice speaks of what we need and guides us towards where we need to go, the tradeoff is that we must let go of denial.

Denial of our truths cannot co-exist with trust. It refuses to see what is really going on and trust in a higher plan. Most of the time, denial serves as a means of protection from fear and pain. While it can be of service for us when we aren’t quite ready to deal with it, denying truth for too long can deter us from our purpose.

There can be harsh realities attached to the truth, but through pain comes the beauty we are being called to share and heal in the world.

Trust can be hard to master when we have repeatedly been let down by people in positions of power. When we witness decisions being made from a place of fear and greed on the daily it can wound this part of ourselves. When we hear people invalidate our experiences constantly we can start losing trust in what our still voice is speaking to us. This still voice within us is the ultimate truth. It is our soul speaking to us, guiding us in the direction of our personal journeys. We must remain loyal, committed, and devoted even when it seems incomprehensible to our logical mind. Trust is a matter of the soul and spirit. It influences us to trust our body and mind to stay steadfast in our mission on this physical plane. Without trust we wouldn’t have the courage to follow through with our commitments.

Trust, like faith, requires a firm sense of confidence in the truth of something higher than ourselves beyond just the material. The power it can harness grows stronger the more connected we are with our spiritual selves. It is pivotal for us when we set out to begin, maintain, and accomplish any specific thing. We are imperfect human beings and can only do so much with a limited amount of time and energy. Trust like many other things should always be in a state of flux, always redefining where its balance is. It works best when it resembles an unlocked door, being opened and closed whenever we choose.

Begin your journey.

1. Take three deep breaths, ground yourself into the earth, and offer a prayer to the keyholder.

• Allow yourself to feel. Grieve. move. Release the messages which need to be heard. Let them be carried to the natural forces which can most properly handle them.

• What messages come through for you in the stillness? Where is spirit leading you in this next step of your journey? What grief has been left stagnated in your body which needs to be transformed?